This is a great short piece. A different style from what I've seen previously.

~M

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You are the circus, I am the freak. [link]

Definitely needed to read it twice. Loved the ending the first go around, and it cleared up the first large stanza second go around.

I think the line format flows better in the last stanza.

This is tight overall, really like it.

--
--
`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`

Slither my sliver of silver shivers,
into time's gears,
So maybe someday it will cease to deliver
the product of my fears.

This absoSLUTS me. and is silently wizzo wamming and all. I am going to love it forever yon. and read it.

--
(\ /)
(x x)
c('')('')
xxxxxx

i dont say love alot unlike most pricks/

--
(\ /)
(x x)
c('')('')
xxxxxx

Very confusing, actually. One of those poems where I start and end with a frown. I don't think I got enough of it to enjoy it this time.

--
SINAI BENDS

i don't know if i have said this in a comment on one of your poems before, but this is indeed tragically beautiful.

the form (short lines, not much punctuation, enjambment) corrensponds with the content as i perceive it, which does not hide much (in terms of metaphors, external references, prpoer names, and the like) but is rather straight to the point. especially in this last aspect it seems a bit like a stream-of-consciousness-like record, a record of what's going on in the narrator. i must confess i had to reread the last stanza several times in order to make clear i did not miss anything, but i think that's a good thing.

i think it's good to have this poem in a more direct and less verbose, talkative style that some of the last poems i've read from you. maybe that was why i did not really like all of them equally.

the only thing i cannot make much sense of right now is the title, which in itself is priceless. but that's actually something that stands out with all of your poems.

funny thing is that until the last stanza it reminded me of inziladun's way of portraying nature in his poems, but the major difference here is that by the last stanza you bring man(kind) into it. besides, you managed to give it a somehow bitter and tragic, and therefore individual human, tone, whereas master inzi has a somehow more 'universal' approach to most of what i've read of his poems.
this is not to say that anyone of you two is 'better' of whatever fuckshit, i just wnated to point out similarities and major differences. but i'm sure you'll get that, do you ?

this is indeed a surprise in terms of form and style, and one of the best poems i've read from you for quite a while. applause applause .

there you go.

have a nice day .

and don't look out for typos and stuff in this comment. i am not in the mood to proofread it.

--
Don't let your dreamers grow up to be dead men. Drown us at birth, save her some time. - Every Time I Die, "Floater"

i'm glad we're going to start heading in more this type of a direction. a pleasant change of pace but not tune.

heartwood cosmetic box, k-cackgurgle.

i'm unsure whether to look for domesticity in this one, "a hardwood throws" threw me, and despite the lack of bombs i can hear a friend's "falling like a soldier" in it. leafy. do you mean to leave with the cold as a monolith? a couple reads later and the treebend looks maternal, lashing.

--
on the zipupside, the spin cycle works.

your transition is awkward, might need a bridging stanza.

--
Breaking entering
The dark and lonely places
Finding a big gun